So today is my birthday. All I really want to do is eat a lot of cake, get a tan and go shopping!
But today is also the last day of the year. So to everyone else, Happy New Year!
See ya on the flip side.

Spiritual Journey

After having a few eye opening instances presented to me in such a way, I have found a new meaning to my life. Ironically being raised by a highly spiritual person, my mother, I have always had a type of gift. A gift to see things, to sense things, and to do things. It is a type of magic that I cannot explain nor wish to further expose – for it is my own experience and my historical lessons that complete me today. I have been taught much about our new step into a transcending and ever changing world. We are entering a new dimension of understanding as well as of action. This action refers to our spiritual revolution where the energy that makes us divine is now being used in a positive way to communicate to others the importance of this knowledge. What we must teach one another is how to use this gift to bring a positive light in this world that truly needs this change. We have come to face difficult times in our struggle of mankind and it is our duty to survive. It is not the survival of the fittest but of those wisest to use the gifts that we each carry inside. Millions still do not know of its existence thus the reason why we must expand our knowledge of the use of our spiritual world in order to cut the violence and corruption that so cunningly separates us from our humanity. This is not a religious conversion. This is not a persuading argument. It is but the truth of our existence! We have evolved throughout thousands of years. Where are we to go next? We cannot let go of the only good we have left in us: the power we have to unite in peace. Peace is what we are truly lacking and many of us have started the journey to find peace within ourselves. Which is the only place to start looking. Once one has found thus, we finally start uniting our energies to form unbelievable bonds with each other. The only battle worth fighting for is the love that we share for this planet. Our only planet that has given us so much. How can we neglect it now when it needs us the most? How can we turn our backs to the evident problem that arises everyday without bothering to look back? The truth is, we cannot. We must synchronize ourselves to the tune of nature. Of mother nature’s earth. There we can find all of life’s answers. And that may be just it! All of our lives we have been searching for a truer meaning when it lay hidden within us the entire time. We are a part of nature! Those who were enlightened and spiritually aware of this gift already knew how to use it and tried to spread it with some success. Yet that was a time when perhaps humanity did not comprehend it. But this, this is the day and age where we are looking for answers – for help. Our earth is crumbling down at our feet and we sit lazily at home letting it happen. If we do so, let us at least be looking for that meaning within us. Look inside for that particular energy that allows you to see all of the beauty that does survive on the outside. All of the symbiotic relationships that nature has presented to us are so important and so apparent that we just need to open ourselves to allow it to pierce through us. Then, we have found happiness and with that, our true energies.

Me 2.

I wrote this on February 4, 2003


i am: the worlds gate towards the sun’s shine
i think: about how tomatoes are red
i want: sum nail painting
i know: that the world is not round
i have: a wedgy
i wish: I had the power to stop time
i hate: the fact that im stressed
i miss: my boobs
i fear: that this stupid peach juice wont cool
i feel: the urge to pee
i hear: lupus
i smell: the essencial stuff my mom sprayed
i crave: money... and chocolate chip cookies
i search: for the truth inside the harp of life in which it plays often in my curiosity

i wonder: if I will dream tonight
i regret: nothing I have done.. I shouldn’t... im happy

i love: my life and everyone who has succeeded in making it amazing
i long: to get to drive by myself
i care: about everyone that I love
i always: exaggerate and randomnate
i am not: healthy right now...
i believe: my period will come soonnnnnn
i dance: when I feel like it.. especially when no one is watching
i sing: to break sum glass... and in the shower... and to annoy dende
i cry: when I remember memories that have passed by too fast and I didn’t enjoy them enough and when I miss the most important factors in my life: friends and family
i do not always: shave my legs... but I will start since its summer
i fight: with destiny creating my own fairy tale to live inside this broken bubble
i write: to write... a future book that will be published... ull see
i win: at making people laugh
i lose: I don’t... im cheap so I don’t loose money, but I do loose friends and I do loose stuff... and I do lose my mind
i never: stop... I am constantly loving and fearing and eating and hearing and writing and caring and thinking (well maybe not always... thinking)
i confuse: the heck out of everyone else
i listen: to my invisible friend
i can usually be found: sleeping in my bed or in front of the computer or around
i am scared: of not being there for my friends one day
i need: to get a life
i am happy about: having people that love me and care for me
i expect: to live in paradise

Me.

I wrote this May 18, 2004.

i am: who you think i am not
i think: about why there are words of why
i want: sum sex
i know: that im crazy in every possible way

i have: my period
i wish: i could have three more wishes
i hate: bumming around getting fatter
i miss: my boyfriend
i fear: that one day smeagol might come after me
i feel: my nose clogging up
i hear: the noisiest silence in my head
i smell: nothing since my nose is blocked
i crave: all power over the world! hahahahha (evil laugh)
i search: for the meaning of what everything is bound to be and is

i wonder: if Ill get laid soon
i regret: nothing... life goes on

i love: everything and anything that i do not hate or dislike

i long: to get my freakin car back
i care: about you
i always: seem to fall... seriously... im always falling everywhere...
i am not: sleeping right now
i believe: in the power invested in me
i dance: all the time
i sing: to annoy everyone with my nasty ass voice
i cry: with joy
i do not always: say the right words
i fight: destiny... for it doesnt exist... i exist
i write: for life
i win: because i made you smile today
i lose: because you cried and i couldnt make you laugh
i never: stop... ill always be around
i confuse: the heck out of everyone else
i listen: to the loudness of nothingness
i can usually be found: sleeping or sleeping with my baby
i am scared: of not being omnipotent
i need: you
i am happy about: it all
i expect: everything for everyone and nothing from no one